During a holiday break from my university 2 years ago my mother confronted me in an uncannily Dostoevskian manner with her head hanging utterly distraught. She proposed the inevitable question, “My son, why do you no longer believe in God?”. Struggling to conceal a change in my religious beliefs I expected this conversation, but having it I had not prepared for. Handling this discussion compassionately, without diminishing her beliefs and conveying myself honestly, seemed to be a contradiction. How do you answer, “Son, I need to see you in heaven”?
This short story's inspiration is a primal confrontation of an individual with our species unique ability to have faith. The main character reckons with organized religion believing God is larger than one sect, but the origin of biodiversity.
Realized by Treyden (Director/Writer/Cinematographer/Editor)
Paster Andy Hagen
4k video, 24 fps
Black Magic Pocket Cinema 6k
Rokinon Cine DS Lenses 24mm, 50mm, 85mm
Tokina 11-16mm Lens
Premiere Pro CC 2020
There is a growing lack of faith among my academic peers. Many of whom associate being faithful with being uneducated. Stories that discuss the diversity of individual beliefs and the moral conflicts they inherently evoke intrigue me. Due to religious disagreements in my family, I was baptized twice in both Catholic and Lutheran churches.
What are acts of Justice? I used these terms in the film as they relate to the legal model of today's society and the vocabulary we use to define how to act. In this film, I strive to connect the divine system and the language through which we see the world. Putting myself in the experience of both the guilty and the judge, I speak, "I fear my ability to be unjust. And I fear my inability to love those who do injustice”. Confessing my struggle to live in alinement with my moral beliefs.
Home with my parents for the first extended period in 8 years and at a loss for actors I convinced my mother to be in the film. Understanding the extent of her willingness I crafted the dialogue to relinquish her from the responsibility to speak any lines. I tend to edit lengthy sequences and am learning to understand my rhythmic flow with respect to an average audiences’ attention span. The original dialogue for the project was short as I rely on image and action to convey the plot. In hindsight, I understand my style clearly heightens the audience’s awareness of a character's internal narrative vs interpersonal plot development. When I have the proper audio equipment and accessibly to performers I am excited to challenge my ability to depict complex character relationships. Lastly, I never wrote the line “Mama, forgive me I do not believe in heaven.”, but improvising as an actor with the concept’s life source I am learning to give into truth also as a director.